Maybe you hold a belief that emotional triggers are bad and you spend a lot of time and energy avoiding them, denying them, suppressing them, or ignoring them. I invite you to continue reading anyway, and maybe you might gain a slightly different perspective by the end of this article.
First of all, we need to define what a trigger is. A trigger can be an event or another person’s actions that reminds you of something from the past. This unconscious reminder evokes a strong behaviour response within you. Triggers can be a reminder of an injustice served to you, old beliefs or incorrect thought patterns you still carry, or a personal boundary that has been breached. Whatever it is, if they are left unaware, you can continue repeating these unhelpful patterns, or blaming other people for your seemingly out-of-control behaviour.
The saying goes that to make mistakes is to be human. Well, the same goes for triggers really. We all have them. We have all experienced times in our past and our childhood where we felt unseen or unheard, which is where triggers take root. As children we don’t understand bigger concepts and so we make up stories about ourselves in order to be accepted and be loved. These can become highly dysfunctional through adulthood if they remain unchecked.
If you know my work at all, you will know that I am laser focussed on getting to the root cause of issues, along with bringing your shadow side to the light for resolution and healing. Being triggered is a dial in to that which remains unresolved within you. Triggers are therefore a great indicator of our shadow.
One thing about being an adult is that you always have a choice to make a change. You don’t have to be stuck with being triggered. However, triggers can be a place of safety and familiarity. Humans get very attached to old stories we tell ourselves, and we can much easier justify our behaviour because of that. Plus it’s sometimes easier to blame others rather than look at our own reactivity and vulnerability, because that can be painful and shameful.
Those who are on the spiritual path may hold a belief that they shouldn’t be triggered any longer. The danger here is that you are bypassing the uncomfortable shadow work in an attempt to ‘love and light’ it away, or meditate it out of existence. The reality is that in order to solve a problem, you have to face it and go through it.
‘So, why the hell would I put myself through this painful task of healing my triggers?’, I hear you ask. Like any deep shadow work you do, there are big rewards on the other side, like:
- Being more emotionally stable so you become less reactive and volatile
- You can role model this to your kids so they don’t have to process it themselves as adults
- Improve and deepen connection and relationships
- Deepen your journey as an awakened soul on your (true) spiritual path
- Feel a great sense of freedom as your shadow no longer controls you; you move into the driver’s seat of your life
Therapy offers and safe and non-judgemental space to process behaviours that you are not happy with and that cause you shame. It’s possible to make huge strides forward in personal growth by working on your triggers. Remember, the only person who can truly rescue you is you.
Do you want to experience your life differently? Are you ready to make a change for the better? Click on the link below to make an appointment or give me a call on 0434 515 463 for an initial free discovery call.