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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Are you living in fear of your partner?

Are they controlling various aspects of your life?

**IF YOU ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, DIAL 000**

Domestic violence does not discriminate across gender, race, demographic or socio-economic status.  It is not just about physical (visible) violence.  As most of the signs are invisible, a lot of damage can be done to the person experiencing it as their self-esteem is slowly eroded away, they may not notice the escalating effects, and the abuse can be hidden from family, friends and the outside world.  At Chrysalis Health & Wellbeing, I assist:

  • clients who suspect that their partner's behaviour is abusive, as there is an increasing feeling fear of their partner, or 'walking on eggshells' around their partner
  • clients who are considering leaving their partner, and need a safe place to discuss what is happening, and wish to consider putting together an action plan.  Safety is of extreme and paramount importance.
  • clients who have, in the past, experienced domestic violence and feel they need extra support in re-building their life

For further information on domestic violence counselling and support please click HERE

 

Do You Think Domestic Violence Only Happens To Women? 


(IF YOU ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER DIAL 000)

Domestic violence occurs when someone with whom you are in a close personal relationship makes you feel afraid, unsafe or powerless, no matter what your gender.  The statistics in Australia are shocking: currently one woman is killed each week by an intimate partner, and one man every ten days (Bureau of Criminology).  To date, there is minimal support and no services specifically for men, and shelters for women are consistently full with long waiting lists.
Each person’s experience is unique, and in longer-term relationships abusive behaviour can become the ‘norm’ and it can be more difficult to identify this behaviour as being wrong.  This is normal in an abusive relationship, as controlling behaviours can be ramped up incrementally and imperceptibly. Domestic violence is not just about physical abuse, but manifests in seven different ways:

  • Physical threat, such as harm to you or a pet;
  • Emotional and psychological, such as manipulation or crazy-making (research the term ‘gaslighting’);
  • Verbal, such as humiliation or put-downs (either publicly and/or privately);
  • Financial constraints and control tactics;
  • Social (isolating from family and friends or controlling where you can or can’t go);
  • Technological (such as stalking by GPS tracking on a smart device);
  • Sexual abuse and rape.

Any of these forms of violence are unacceptable; everyone has a human right to live freely without fear.  The effects of domestic violence can be debilitating, far-reaching and long-lasting for both victims, and their children.

You May Be In An Abusive Relationship If You Feel…

Isolated – you may be hesitant to tell anyone what is happening for fear of not being believed or being ridiculed, or not ‘standing up to him/her’
Confused – sometimes she/he is loving and caring and then suddenly she/he can make you feel scared, belittled, attacked or criticised.  It can be very confusing trying to understand why someone who loves you can treat you this way
Frustrated – if you feel like you are working to try everything in your relationship to keep peace and conflict to a minimum but nothing seems to work
Depressed or anxious as if you are ‘walking on eggshells’ wondering how long it will be before she/he starts getting angry and critical again
Guilty for wondering whether you should leave the relationship, or that you have to stay in it no matter what
Scared what will happen to the children and how she/he would react or use the children against you if you decided to end the relationship
Worried about your financial security, becoming homeless or losing contact with the children if you leave
Feeling paralysed about making a decision and that anything you do will make the situation worse

What Can I Do If I Think I May Be In An Abusive Relationship?

The first step is recognising and acknowledging that there is a problem.  Ignoring the abuse will not make it go away, and doing nothing will not make things better .  Following are some suggestions in order to start creating change, but only if it is safe to do so.  Your safety must remain paramount.

  • Keep a journal or record of dates and times of incidents
  • Seek legal advice
  • For men experiencing violence, avoid being provoked into retaliating, or you could end up being the one arrested
  • Seek support from trusted family members and friends
  • Seek the professional support of a counsellor
  • Make safety arrangements for an emergency
  • If possible, start saving money
  • Only when safe to do so, do your research.  One In Three is the website for men.  For women, there are a number of support phone numbers. 1800-Respect has a website and 24/7 phone service
  • Remove browsing history after researching online about abuse and domestic violence
  • Be aware that your phone (or your children’s phones) may be being tracked.

At Chrysalis Health and Wellbeing, we assist both men and women who are currently, or who have in the past, been experiencing domestic violence, as we believe in a non-gendered approach.  We offer a safe, non-judgemental and strictly confidential environment to assist clients to discuss and work through the issues affecting them. Call now.

I am pleased to announce that I am now an official NDIS provider to help support people with disability and their carers.